The Year of Rest and Relaxation

A year ago I left my corporate job as a CPA to explore new avenues and the world.  And no, I did not move all my life across the globe, find the meaning of life, or my soulmate, yet... 

But I went from fearing alone in the daylight to sleeping by myself in the middle of nowhere, in the woods, all the way to night buses in India. 

I spoke broken Italian, Spanish, and to some broken English too. I crossed borders by foot. Participated in unexpected pilgrimages. And many, many, more solo travels and horseback rides. 

I fell madly and quickly in love with strangers, and myself, and made friends from all walks of life. And learned that letting go and moving on does not mean the love was not real and not felt. All we have at the end of the day is ourselves, and what a gift to be your own best friend.

Spent months in ashram and understood the power of discipline, rituals, routine, community, and faith. And that I am no better than any job - scrubbing floors and toilets. Every task has value and meaning. Everything can be meditation.

Sailing showed me what it means to live in alignment with nature’s timing. No rushing, just flowing. And that every knot forward is earned through everyday’s physical labor.

I’ve lost and found, and lost and found myself again. 

And began to understand more through my experiences as a women, the objectification we can face. 

That immersing myself in other cultures, the more different it was to mine, the most it fed my soul and curiosity. 

I learned to breathe and be in my body through yoga. In my yoga teacher trainings I learned that even though I didn’t grow up as the most sporty, I can achieve anything I set my mind to with consistency.  By that I mean everything. It doesn’t define me as an adult. That you can be many things at once. Fierce and feminine, strong and fragile. Contradictions can coexist. 

Volunteering highlighted my privilege, how short life is and to not watch it go by. 

I wrote, I played, I danced, I did many things for the plot, faced with the repetition of my own patterns, I struggled. 

I spent more time in community than alone. 

I fell in love with the mountains and the healing powers of nature. And how much we have to respect it. 

Many taught I was just dizzying myself or being lost and confuse. And I think I expected something big to happen, something to shift. And when you add all these together you start to understand and recognize.  That’s the beauty of experimenting. You start to put pieces of the puzzle together. That is just part of becoming.